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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 @11:59 PM

can you believe what a year it's been
are we still the same

2008 bids farewell
2009 beckons

Happy New Year!

may the new year bring blessings aplenty
and everything we wish for


@11:59 AM

I am reading a book. The words follow me around today, like a whimsical cloud above my head, a constant companion. The irony. Today, what I want is my own personal sun, to shine on me, for warmth; what I need is mist, to hide from prying eyes. Rainbows would only remind me of rain. And stars? Stars always seem to let me down.

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008 @11:14 PM

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battle.


Friday, December 26, 2008 @2:36 AM

There is good and there is evil, right and wrong, heroes and villains. And if we are blessed with wisdom, then there are glimpses between the cracks of each where light streams through.

We wait in silence for these times when sense can be made, when meaningless existence comes into focus, and our purpose presents itself.

And if we have the strength to be honest, then what we find there staring back at us is our own reflection, bearing witness to the duality of life. That each one of us is capable of both the dark and the light, of good and evil, of either, of all.

And destiny, while marching ever in our direction, can be rerouted by the choices we make, by the love we hold onto, and the promises we keep.

- Mohinder Suresh
Dual, Heroes.


Thursday, December 25, 2008 @7:18 PM

Imperfections, in the absence of love - discord, marred harmony.

Imperfections, in the presence of love - perfection.

Today, and all days, I wish you the power to see imperfections as they should be seen - proof of man's handicraft; effort wherein none could have existed, but did.

May we acknowledge the potency of all imperfections - but still, search for our own visions of elusive perfection.

Who is the world to tell you that nobody is perfect?


Wednesday, December 24, 2008 @1:23 AM

damn funny stuff.

ah well.

merry christmas eve everyone!


Tuesday, December 23, 2008 @2:40 AM

it doesn't hurt anymore.

not a while ago it would have.

and for that, at least, I am grateful.

what the hell

throwing caution to the wind

I'm tired of self-editing


Is it strange to miss someone before they're gone?

I crave even though I know - I know - it's all wrong.

Like clinging to ice and white chocolate.

Wondering and guilt and insanity.

Imagination silent as thought; half fears, half tears.

Wishes on stars that can't be seen at night.

Fire burns out fire.

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Monday, December 22, 2008 @11:50 PM

Garfield says:

building materials
design communication
intro to design
technical english
national language
design theory
building construction
malaysian studies
computer aided design
design studio
arch history
arch studio
building services
project management
working drawings
environmental science
industrial training
integrated project

Rowen! says:
design sounds cool
Rowen! says:
the rest ... make me grateful I'm not studying architecture

Anyone else up for Diploma of Architecture, Building and Design? =]

(I don't envy you the task of competing with Jason though!)


Seriously. Who's going for National Service?


Just to make things clear:

I will be starting South Australian Matriculation (SAM) in Taylor's University College come January '09.

Anyone who wants to join me - YES. Choose SAM.

by the way
is that not the cutest smiley ever


@3:05 PM

never was smart about picking top football teams

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Saturday, December 20, 2008 @6:49 PM

Forwarded Message

When a girl is quiet ... millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers 'I'm fine' after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl lays her head on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday ... she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says 'I love you' ... she means it.

When a girl says 'I miss you' ... no one in the world can miss you more.

Life only comes around once. Make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy

who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him.
who will stay awake to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy

who kisses your forehead.
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
who holds your hands in front of his friends.
who is constantly reminding you how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her!'



Wednesday, December 17, 2008 @10:10 PM

my birthplace!
also now, 5sc1 class graduation trip.

Day 1 : Wed, 10.12.2008

The journey there flew by - I am sure we were hyper. Stopped at a food court in Seremban. There were kittens! My cat is fat. Believe it or not, Telon was a kitten once.

Checked in at Hallmark Hotel. Took over the lobby! Switched off the lift lights! We are so mature.

Roomed with Gowrie, Jia Wei and Maxine. There was a cemetery outside the window. What a view. Wonder if we should have fought for a discount. I mean, you pay more for good view right?

Headed out to Jonker Street!

Cheng Hoon Teng was beautiful. It really, really was. This coming from someone who generally does not notice these kind of things. Cheng Hoon Teng was solemn, grand, intricate.


I am not a religious person. I won't point fingers; this is a result of my upbringing and myself. Belief, and faith, and tradition are foreign. For me, religion - belief - is a personal choice for other people I don't pretend to understand. So when I watched a fortune-telling ritual at the temple (I was excited because I remember learning about it in chinese tuition) my first reaction was I want to play! Syn Dee & Lung Wang, immediately, 'This is not a game! You cannot play!' Oh. Fortune-telling. Okay. No offense intended to anyone. I just found it an amusing incident.

One of the many on Jonker's Street. This is the Hokkien Society. I've always known about their existence but I've also always imagined them as dull grey buildings. Glad to see I'm wrong. Apparently old men come for the night life. Karaoke. Very happening. =)

I guess it had to happen. It did. I called Jason. He said, very happily, 'Wait - let me guess. You're lost!'

I have no idea what Yee Wei and I were doing. I know Jun Wen was waiting. The rest of the group moved on. We followed the wrong people, turned the wrong direction, and got ourselves really hungry for lunch by walking damn far away.

lunch! chicken rice balls! interesting concept =)

Thank the stars for Jun Wen. Yee Wei plus Ju Vern equals lost. I have no idea how he found the restaurant. As soon as anyone starts saying 'first junction turn right until you see a small lane' my brain shuts down.

After lunch we wandered a few more shops along Jonker's (they all sell the same things loh) then we went to find cendol. The cendol had sago! Yay. I like. Jun Wen doesn't. He ate Ais Kacang. Met up with the guys at the hotel later. Their achievements: Cendol. And Sunglasses.

Wandered off to Dataran Pahlawan. Looked at clothes. They were still expensive. Dinner at Newton's Food Court. If you feel like we haven't stopped eating, I think so too. All us girls randomly met up! And had dinner together! Guys disappeared. They bought apples. Three went to watch Twilight.

eesh. I am blocking menyi. sorry!

After that we went to a mamak. You see. We don't stop eating. Interesting topics of conversation. Among them were proposals, and lip-reading. =P

At the hotel (this is around 2 am) Gowrie and I debated on how to enter our room (Jia Wei and Maxine were fast asleep) without getting scolded. In the end we went in and woke both of them up anyway. After listening to a lecture in our kidnapped lecture hall (Lester's room) we were supposed to go back to bed but were distracted by Hoe Yan's room. I ate an apple. We um stayedupallnight. Yay. (*points to Jun Wen, Gowrie, Hoe Yan, Yee Wei, JB Cindy and Syn Dee*)

Day 2 : Thu, 11.12.2008

Discovered loss of Jia Wei and Maxine after Syn Dee called. And here we thought they would be concerned by our absence. Our beds were untouched and they didn't find that at all worrying! Anyway they had gotten up early for a morning walk and were refreshed and happy after a full night of sleep. (ie. we were not reprimanded for waking them up! *throws confetti*)

Wandered Malacca being tourists from Singapore. We seriously didn't look local, what with the cameras and the uniform and the sunglasses! Visited Stadhuys, Christ Church, St. Paul's Church, The Ship, Maritime Museum, and Klebang Beach. (I didn't know the beach had a name. We missed the sunset.)

I like the symmetry of the photo.
Shut up. I really do.

With Jia Wei in blue sunglasses.
Red building in background was Christ Church. Unfortunately we were mesmerized by the fountain instead.

At St. Paul's Church with Gowrie.
Liked that the tombstone had a heart.

Umbrellas, cannons, and a big stone building.

Salute. And... fire!

The Malacca Tree and a descendant of Parameswara.

Only Singaporeans sit down in a corner of the museum.
(those are our shoes in the plastic bags!)
Photo stolen because I like.

Ship's mast. Because my photography skills rock. I mean, the body of the ship doesn't really matter, right?

Lunch was at BabaNyonya restaurant. Jun Wen traded his eating cendol for my eating vegetables. Can you believe we are comparing cendol to vegetables here?

Yee Wei and Gowrie framed by wispy leaves.

Beach! Wai Zack zoomed into the sea, influenced Sylvester to jump in after him, and pushed Yoong Chieh in too.

Yoong Chieh and gang buried Wai Zack and transformed him into a girl. No pictures. Use your imagination.

We tortured Lung Wang at his request. We tried being paparazzi and the HSM cast. We plotted. We called Jillian. We missed the sunset. I love the water.

Dinner was porridge steamboat. At the hotel, Menyi was sick. The guys were drinking. We played cards. I was taught chinese chess. For the first time, Gowrie and I slept in our beds!

Day 3 : Fri, 12.12.2008

Checked out of Hallmark Hotel. Woke up bleary due to prolonged lack of sleep. Also, it was cloudy. Had a cup of tea (I liked their tea) and bullied Jun Wen into going to search for pineapple tarts with me. Almost dropped my wallet into a drain and did drop my phone onto the road. Haih. BUT we found our pineapple tarts! (They were too sweet.)

Bused over to A Famosa! Water World! It was sunny! I became a shade darker! (Truthfully after staring in shock for a while I decided that I don't mind being a shade darker.)

High-speed slide in extreme foreground.

The high speed seven-storey slide was insane.

The two second drop. You round the bend and the height of the drop takes your breath away - you doubt your life and your sanity. Then you're on the way down and the water is blinding and you have no. more. time. You're at the end, exhilarated, scared, safe. Ready to do it all over again regardless of the climb, the fear. But the two seconds? are never the same again.

And we'll leave that as my description of Water World.
(Ignoring the Lazy River, Wave Pool, Tube Slides and what-not.)

Ah. Dinner in Tampin. Dinner was good chinese restaurant food.

(To those who know what happened that night:
How could we have been so stupid. Till today fear grips me when I walk alone. Stupid doesn't even begin to cover it. I regret every second I walked away.
Thank you, Jason. I credit you for keeping me and my friends safe; I take all the blame. I'm sorry we did that to you. Thank you.)

Moving on.

We found the bungalow after a few false starts. It was beautiful. We didn't murder anything in the bungalow, which I thought was a fantastic achievement. Jun Wen and I stood there in the dark and debated the possibility of a giant squid in the swimming pool. (There were unexplained bubbles.) Wai Zack jumped in and jumped back out. There was no giant squid. The guys played football within the first five minutes of arriving. In the first two seconds, they were forced to cross the road and look for said football.


No giant squid.

We had a prom. It was a glorified dancing class with blur dancers and blur-er DJs. My thanks goes out to Wai Zack and Yee Wei for making sure everyone did dance. My amusement to Yinthong who has great moves. And to the backup hand-clappers, I have nothing to say.

Ooh! Yinthong also makes a great ghost! (Seriously. I was standing in a roomful of people, knew exactly what was happening, and was still chilled. Haih.) Lung Wang makes a less great ghost. (He used a torchlight. Yinthong had her hair. And a white dress. And lighting effects.)

Yee Wei's session, at long last.

What else can I say that I haven't already? I will admit I didn't expect to cry.

Talking was... difficult. It was also a relief. Believe me when I say I meant every word.

My apologies to anyone I missed.

My heartfelt gratitude to anyone who said anything to me or about me.

I know what it's like to wish I wasn't defined by one single word. And that night I was - shocked. amazed. pensive. thoughtful. thankful.

Yoong Chieh and Jason were the first and last people I spoke to. Unconsciously symbolic, I think.


I spent most of the night staring into the candlelight. It was fitting, then, that I chose a matchbox as a momento.

I love fire. I can stare at candlelight for ages. Don't have to think. The blue at the base of the flame. The flickering orange. The translucent quality of the flame. Its impermanence. It's escapism, I swear.

We slept in sleeping bags that night, scattered around the floor of the living room.

Lying there? I couldn't stop thinking.

Day 4 : Sat, 13.12.2008

I woke up spontaneously at 7.30 in the morning in a sleeping bag, mostly because I don't think I slept. Wandered around the house, looking for someone to talk to but no one even opened an eye. Found Jia Wei awake a while later so off we went on a morning walk. By then most people had been forced to consciousness by an alarm clock so Gowrie joined us. Chee Soon wandered alternatively ahead and behind us.

Jun Wen, who apparently abandoned his sleeping bag.
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen what would I do without you?

I like the non-symmetry of this photo. What can I say. I'm easy to please.

I waved at an old man reading the newspaper outside his house! He looked at me like I was mad. Then I walked past him again and he waved back! *happy haha* (Easy to please, remember?)

In the bungalow we sat around blearily with random breakfast items. Panicked over Syn Dee's card. Packed. Threw Poring and Ivan around. (Max are you reading this?) Played cards. Argued over the only bathroom because some genius locked the guys' bathroom up. Wandered around taking photos. Watched early morning cartoons. (Lung Wang!) And... checked out.

Uncle Phang and Syn Dee. We survived thanks to them.

Had lunch at Seremban Siew Pao Empire. Watched prawns jumping for their lives. Bought siew pao which I never got to eat. Emo-ed in the bus. Sang a random Kenangan Terindah. Wrote messages in a bottle. Cried. Arrived. Hugged. Cried some more.

And there we were. Separated. Each to their own destinations and futures.

But hey. We'll always share a past. =)

-the end-
thank you for reading
thank you, too, to everyone who made the class trip what it was

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008 @9:14 PM

Everyone's going AWAYYYY

*cries in a corner*


@4:46 PM

Cut my hair! LOVE IT. =D

Hope to see everyone soon!



Have moved on to the other extreme and now DON'T LIKE my hair. Haih.


Now I'm just undecided.


@12:07 AM

Because today you don't take leaps of faith when there isn't the hint of a net to break your fall.

At least, I don't think I do.


Monday, December 15, 2008 @11:44 AM

These were funny conversations I saved before Malacca. Mostly for personal remembrance but feel free to read if you don't mind many words and strange grammar.


juvern.blogspot.com says:

I book yc to carry my stuff for me

juvern.blogspot.com says:

hahaha must tell him that

Syn D says:

haha, cannot! you're not following the equation!

juvern.blogspot.com says:

I create my own equations

juvern.blogspot.com says:

hah! =P

Syn D says:

oh well, poor yc.

juvern.blogspot.com says:

chee soon no handphone

juvern.blogspot.com says:

what if we lose him!

Syn D says:

we use class fund to buy him starter pack

juvern.blogspot.com says:


Syn D says:

but no phone

juvern.blogspot.com says:

can we use class fund to buy me top up?

Syn D says:

so, just throw him the SIM card

juvern.blogspot.com says:

so if he gets lost, he pokes someone and asks to borrow a phone

juvern.blogspot.com says:

'but don't worry, I have my own sim card'

Syn D says:

you dont need charity

Syn D says:


Syn D says:


Syn D says:

chee soon grabs persons phone

Syn D says:

removes battery

Syn D says:

removes person's sim card

Syn D says:

inserts his

Syn D says:

and reasembles the phone

juvern.blogspot.com says:

... we need to hire a babysitter for chee soon

Syn D says:


juvern.blogspot.com says:

one with a phone


Syn D says:


Syn D says:


You have just sent a nudge.

juvern.blogspot.com says:


Syn D says:


Syn D just sent you a nudge.

juvern.blogspot.com says:

but maybe you deserved that

juvern.blogspot.com says:


Syn D says:


Syn D says:

*decides to take revenge tmr

juvern.blogspot.com says:

*hides behind jun wen

Syn D says:

*decides to kick jun wen off bus

juvern.blogspot.com says:


juvern.blogspot.com says:

I'm telling him

Adrian Tan Jun-Wen has been added to the conversation.

juvern.blogspot.com says:

jun wen!

juvern.blogspot.com says:


Syn D says:

hi jun wen

Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:


Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:

Why so sad?

juvern.blogspot.com says:

Syn D says:

*decides to kick jun wen off bus

Syn D says:

jun wen...sabotage...ju vern typed that

juvern.blogspot.com says:


juvern.blogspot.com says:

me no lie

Syn D says:

ju vern typed that

Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:

o_o....why me?

juvern.blogspot.com says:

*points accusing finger

Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:

Am I not skinny enough?

Syn D says:

becoz...she wants to hide behind u

juvern.blogspot.com says:

huh? only skinny people allowed on the bus?

juvern.blogspot.com says:

die loh the bus will be empty


juvern.blogspot.com says:

she says I'm not sane anymore

Garfield says:


Garfield says:

hu's gonna take ur place?

Garfield says:


Garfield says:

how did u lose it?

juvern.blogspot.com says:

umm at first it had something to do with water bottles

juvern.blogspot.com says:

and hair straighteners

juvern.blogspot.com says:

it evolved to syn dee kicking me off the bus

juvern.blogspot.com says:

but first it was junwen who was getting kicked off

juvern.blogspot.com says:

you see why I'm confused

Garfield says:

because of the pillow?

Garfield says:


Garfield says:

uve made me confused too

juvern.blogspot.com says:

no we are over the pillow

juvern.blogspot.com says:

the pillow, if it appears, will be mine

Garfield says:

n jun wen...?

juvern.blogspot.com says:

if he brings it, is bringing it for me

juvern.blogspot.com says:

unless he decides to do as he threatened and glue it to his head

Garfield says:


Garfield says:

so he'll walk around with a pillow to his head

Garfield says:

*imagines him in waterworld, head tilt to one side due to heavy pillow*

juvern.blogspot.com says:

he might drown

juvern.blogspot.com says:

the pillow will be heavy

juvern.blogspot.com says:

and if it gets wet then it will drag him down headfirst

juvern.blogspot.com says:

must tell him to cancel glue pillow to head plan


1. yc and other guys did carry my bags. thank you!

2. we didn't lose chee soon.

3. jun wen and I were both on the bus.

4. the pillow did not appear.

5. I am not sure about the status of my sanity.

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@11:07 AM

look what I found! (clearing my computer. it died when I left it.)



yc says:
everytime you go away
yc says:
you take a piece of me with you
juvern.blogspot.com says:
juvern.blogspot.com says:
I keep a collection of them
juvern.blogspot.com says:
in bottles and jars
yc says:
give them back



Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:
Who wants hamsters?
juvern.blogspot.com says:
I want a dog =(
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:
I don't like dogs
juvern.blogspot.com says:
juvern.blogspot.com says:
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:
Me neither!
juvern.blogspot.com says:
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:
Too much drama
Adrian Tan Jun-Wen says:

Zephyr says:
lol,why u dun like jun wen anymore?
juvern.blogspot.com says:
juvern.blogspot.com says:
juvern.blogspot.com says:
Zephyr says:
if thats so, u can hate me too
juvern.blogspot.com says:
juvern.blogspot.com says:
I don't like youuuuuuu
Zephyr says:
Zephyr says:
oh no
Zephyr says:
hey guess what, i like dogs now



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@9:20 AM

How far more there is to go scares me. This need for someone to hold my hand and walk me through the path scares me even more. There isn't someone. We walk alone.


Saturday, December 13, 2008 @10:27 PM

Back from 4days3nights in Malacca.

Updates will follow sooner or later.

Smile. Ju Vern.

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Monday, December 8, 2008 @1:04 AM

*complains about rain*

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Friday, December 5, 2008 @11:11 PM

What I Did Today

fold paper

it can stand it can stand! do you realise what a miracle that is? it practically defies the laws of physics! and the laws of paper falling down!
RM1 to the first person who tells me what they are. don't don't guess grasshopper like my father did.
the bear sat patiently on my study table with the other bear while I studied for various exams the whole year. they have no names because I didn't name them.

draw my left hand

this is part of my attempt to learn to draw. don't laugh.
hands are half missing because I stood on my hands.

What I Will Do Tomorrow

hang out at my father's clinic

because it's bring your daughter to work day
and my father says I will get sick due to the germs floating around
so yay

go to pahang

because I am patriotic that way
and we must support cuti-cuti malaysia y'know?
I shall 'eat, sleep, and watch the rain'
his quote, not mine

wish me good health people!

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@1:11 AM

I want
to build a runaway alarm clock.


Thursday, December 4, 2008 @9:54 PM


Tuesday, December 2, 2008 @9:15 PM

Twilight & Coffee Bean & Mashed Potatoes


My plans for the next five years + One car ride = No more plans for the next five years.

It is very sad. It is very very sad. Sad!

We are starting a club called dunno-what-to-do-for-the-rest-of-our-lives club. Or something like that lah I forgot liao. Membership not extended to Jason and Jia Wei. They are starting the know-what-to-do-for-the-rest-of-their-lives club. Or the have-plans-for-the-next-five-years club.


I watched Twilight today!

I quite liked it. Surprisingly exceeded (low) expectations. =) Movies never ever outshine the books, though.

Inkheart is coming out in Jan 2009 - I walked past a poster coming out.


Food - Paddington House of Pancakes + Popcorn + Coffee Bean - we forgot doughnuts.


We went searching for a glass bottle for Yee Wei and her soon-to-come reign of terror. There was a bottle with a detachable bunny head. Be grateful - we didn't buy the bunny bottle. We bought a purple one instead.


We called Kum Foeng to laugh at her but she said very sadly, 'I can't hear you and I don't know what's going on.'

(We were wondering if you were going to MidValley to dress up as a very tall elf or something Christmassy.)


Syn Dee had an hour to spare so she came to my house and WE MADE MASHED POTATOES. How random is that?

The mashed potatoes were good. We made them in half an hour. Syn Dee does well under pressure. We had too little gravy and too much onion.

Spontaneity, people, is the whole point.


Forgive the seperation of events into sections. My thoughts are jumbled. I seem to have difficulty forming a coherent plotline.


I had KFC to celebrate the ending of SPM. What did you eat? =)

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Monday, December 1, 2008 @12:30 PM

there are decisions you make because.

there are decisions you make in spite of.

then there are the decisions that you shove away.

you see this is what happens when you make something more real than it is.

it finally hit home that this is not a decision I have to make with you.

this is the thread fraying. soon it will break. there are two ways to look at adrift: free. or lost.



ju vern

give ju vern a hug! =D




April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010


unsent letters


.princess aud.


.chee soon.
.chuen hoe.
.er yuin.
.fook zhen.
.jia jia.
.jia wei.
.jun kiat.
.kum foeng.
.lung wang.
.shu sim.
.sue lyn.
.suet yoong.
.syn dee.
.tze huey.
.wai zack.
.weng yee.
.wing yao.
.xin yi.
.yoong chieh.


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